Log in

18 February 2011 @ 05:12 pm
I have two cats: Alex and Gracie. They both like their food, but over the past three years or so, I've limited the amount of food they get because they overate and gained weight.

They still tend to gobble their food. Gracie has a problem in that if she eats too fast (which is all the time), she will throw up her food within 15 minutes. This doesn't bother her too much. She does, she's done, and she moves on.

Alex, however, is not done. He's just getting started. To him, Gracie barfing is a delight of warm yummy predigested kibble. If I don't get to the barf before he does, he'll happily eat it all up.

In recent times, Alex has been attuned enough that as soon as Gracie begins making horking sounds, he's right there instantly. Because he knows if he's not fast about it, I'll keep him away and clean up the barf.

So a few days ago, I'm not as fast as Alex, and he's there eating the barf before Gracie is even finished barfing. In fact, wait, is that BARF on the back of his neck?

I did clean it off him, but I'm sure he would have been happy for it to be a snack for him later, if only he could reach the back of his neck.

05 June 2007 @ 09:46 pm
NSFWCollapse )
24 April 2007 @ 11:34 am
funny metaquotes post that's perfect for this community. :)
17 April 2007 @ 08:50 am
Not so much a nasty pet, but a nasty thing I had to do at the hand of my own stupidity.

I trusted that, after NO LESS than four poopings in the yard, Ein would not need to go again on our morning walk.
How wrong.
Twenty minutes into it, this dog squats right in the middle of the street and lays out a full load. I had NO poop bags.
I found this pile of dead leaves, picked up a much as I could, and then picked the poop up with my bare leafy hands.
So then I had to walk all the way back with a handful of dog poop. And Ein kept trying to poop AGAIN (a sixth time!) in the street.
When we got back home he took his nice leisurely time in the yard.
And to add insult to injury, I had to wipe his little fluffer and the surrounding area thouroughly because he made a mess of himself. (he's a corgi and has that nice fluffy bunny butt.)

The sad thing is, I had to do this with my other dog Rambo ...only that time I begged some nice man sitting on his porch to give me a plastic bag. Rambo was quite a bit larger than Ein.

I learned: Always bring poop bags, no matter if the dog has pooped eight hundred times before leaving. They always manage more!

Anybody have any "No Poop Bag" clean up stories?
07 February 2007 @ 07:38 am
(x-posted from my journal)

Being a dad is great. Until 20 minutes ago, I was sitting in the living room of my beautiful house, next to my beautiful wife, watching Jim Cramer's Mad Money while my beautiful baby sat on the floor half playing with his Baby Einstein toys and half watching the show, usually whenever Cramer hit the "SELL! SELL! SELL!" button.

It was then that I noticed a certain mal-odor coming from Alex's direction. Kate noticed too, and started to pull him up when I happened to notice the overflow sitting in a small pool around where the baby was sitting. I yelped for her to hold him out. This wasn't just poopies. This was a five-alarm poopie explosion.


We team carried Alex to the bathroom, him giggling wildly all along because, well, he was partially upside-down. Alex giggles a lot. In his position, I would be quite mortified, but he possesses that magical self-confidence required to blissfully continue trying to make the kitty pop up while being covered in used yogurt.

After the team-carry to the bathroom, we worked efficiently together. I held on to a foot in each hand and repositioned baby while Kate attempted to figure out how to get diaper and clothes off without hazmat gear and without turning the house into a superfund site.

Eventually, we get Alex mostly cleaned off and simultaneously ready for a bath. Kate said, "I'll finish up here. All you have to do is throw the diaper away and clean up the floor in the living room." I agreed, pitched the diaper, grabbed the wipes and headed out to the hardwood floor in the living room.

And a miracle happened.

It was completely clean.

I stood there puzzled a moment. The dog sat down next to me and looked equally puzzled. We stared.

I looked at the dog. The dog looked at me.

The dog licked its lips.


So as you can see, my rock-star lifestyle is completely unabated by life as a dad. Can anyone suggest a product optimized for dealing with baby poo doggy halitosis?
13 November 2006 @ 05:01 am
X-posted from my lj

So, in the midst of the aforementioned music swap and chat with bulletslc:

Me: OH SHIT, brb!
Bullet: K...?
(several minutes pass)
Me: Sorry. I was just disturbed by that wonderful sound all cat owners know far too well.
Bullet: Hhhhhorrrrrrrkkking?
Me: Yep. 'seph just deposited two lovely puddles in the hallway. A fragrant blend of "Poultry Platter," "Turkey Bits with Cheese in Gravy," what looks like part of mom's flower arrangement, and cat bile.
Bullet: Eww. Yep.
Me: I wiped most of it up now & have foaming cleaner soaking in the rest.
Bullet: Well I'd still take that over fragrant Baph poo* any day.
Me: True. At least 'seph had the courtesy to get off my bed and run out in the hall first.

Thank goodness for late night commiserating buddies.

*Baph is Bullet's large black longhair with stomach issues who tends to have explosive diarrhea that he spreads all over the condo by means of getting it all in said long hair
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
Current Music: Exuma - Do Wah Nanny
13 November 2006 @ 02:55 pm
I was just nicely drifting off after tossing and turning for an hour od so, when I was jerked back into consciousness by the unmistakable sounds of Penny (shih tzu x) puking her guts up. By the time I had found some toilet paper, the little monster had eaten all the vomit so I was left with a nice bile-coloured stain on the carpet. So. Disinfect, back to bed.

Then Asha (staffy x) starts wadering about like she wants to go outside to the toilet. My partner gets up and lets her out, only to have her tear around chasing possums, and ignoring all his frantic calls. When he finally convinces her to come back inside, she races in and leaps straight on the bed. Only...what's that smell? Ah. It would be the huge wad of shit she has embedded in her pad and around her toes. Nice. So then I have to clean up her paw (which involves scraping the shit out of it and then washing it because the smell is vile), AND change the sheets, because she has smudged a great big dirty poo stain on them. Did I mention I had just washed those particular sheets? Just that morning.

I eventually got to sleep around three am I think.

Feral little monsters are damn lucky I still let them inside. gah.
18 September 2006 @ 04:28 pm
Hi all, wonderful community, nearly spat my tea out whilst reading through it.

I took my weird little shih-tzu X for a walk to the park yesterday.

At one point I noticed her trying to lick something off the footpath. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be a completely flattened, dried out baby bird.

This is the same dog who appears to have a fetish for chewing the crotches out of underwear.
Gus, my rescued 3 year old Maine Coon, frequently has very very stinky crap. Some of it is due to having a crappy digestion from years of eating bad food, some is just him I fear. It has this musty, musky odor that is absolutely gross, but it isn't too too bad. Gypsy, my six year old calico cat, just had surgery last week to remove all of her teeth (due to plasma cell stomatitis -- warning, gross pictures). She's on antibiotics and painkillers and is having a little bit of diarrhea because of it.

Here's where it gets bad. Crow, my nearly year old standard poodle, likes to eat cat shit. Most dogs do. We've made a box around the one litter box that he can still get to, but his damn pointy nose is more narrow than our fattest cat, so he can still get in. Earlier, he ate some "litter cookies", likely of both Gus and Gypsy. He had massive litter breath.

Well, let me tell you, litter breath is NOTHING compared to vomited up nasty cat shit. I ran out of the room nealry crying at the horrific smell and threatened to move out rather than re-enter the room to clean it up. I have never, in my entire life, smelled something so bad. Apparently cat shit is NOT improved by being partially digested by a poodle.

That's my lesson for you today.
09 September 2006 @ 12:58 pm
Shona Kitten is fast asleep on my lap and she just let out the vilest fart I've smelt since Squish scavenged that egg mayonnaise sandwich.

Just thought you should all know :)
Current Location: gassed by kitten
Current Mood: impressedimpressed
Current Music: The Men They Couldn't Hang - Ironmasters